The pain I had been having since the beginning of my pregnancy was still present. I was advised to take it easy from this point on. I spent most of my time in bed after this day. My husband started doing all the cooking so I wouldn't have to stand for long periods of time and grocery shopping was done with my husband pushing me in a wheelchair cart.
I went into the doctor again on August 21st. This appointment was just a quick check while the doctor's office was being moved. My general health was checked and they did a quick ultrasound just to try and confirm that baby B was also a boy. The quality of the ultrasound machine they had set up was not as good as the one they had been using so it was hard to tell. The doctor said it looks pretty likely that both babies are boys and said when we came in for the next ultrasound they would confirm it.
On September 9th I went in for my routine ultrasound that I was going to get a DVD of. Everything looked great. Their growth was good. Baby A was still a boy. To our surprise baby B was a girl! We cried it was so amazing that we were going to get one of each.
This is where my story takes an unfortunate turn. The ultrasound technician leaves and tells me the doctor will come in. The doctor tells me that they think they found something abnormal on the ultrasound. They are going to need to do a transvaginal ultrasound to check. The doctor showed me on the ultrasound that my cervix was dilated. He said that at this point they were going to send me down to labor and delivery because there was nothing that could be done to save the pregnancy. We were devastated. It had gone from one of the best days of our life to one of the worst. They moved me on to a bed for transport and my husband called my family so they could get there.
Once I got down to labor and delivery my regular doctor came in to talk to me. She said that there was something that they can do but I needed to meet certain requirements. They put me on monitors to see if I was having contractions and checked to see how far dilated I was. In order to save the pregnancy I would need to have surgery. To qualify for the surgery I would need to not have any contractions and not dilate any further. My bed was reclined with my head down to help with this and a catheter was put in because I would not be able to get out of bed. We stayed there in labor and delivery for several hours with no contractions so they decided it was time to move me. They moved me up to the antepartum section of the maternity ward. The next few hours went well and I was informed that I would go into surgery first thing in the morning. That night my husband and I picked names for the babies because we didn't want them to die without names.
The next morning they moved me back down to labor and delivery to prepare me for surgery. I was to have a Cervical Cerclage put in. This is a procedure done while you are awake with spinal anesthesia to sew the cervix shut so that further dilation is not possible.
When the doctor came in to talk to me about the surgery she told me that there are risks to doing the surgery like infection or breaking the amniotic sac. We knew it was the only option and so we were willing to take the risk.
When I got back from surgery the doctor told me that it went really well because the amniotic sac was not bulging through the cervical opening. This had allowed her to get a really good strong stitch in. I would be given vaginal antibiotics and remain at the hospital for three more days to make sure I did not develop complications. If everything went fine I would go home on strict bed rest (only allowed to stand to go to the bathroom). If things did not go well I would not be leaving the hospital until the babies were delivered.
I did just fine with the surgery and prepared to go to my sister's house to be on bed rest. I could not go to my own house because it would require me to go up a set of stairs to get to the bathroom. I stayed at my sister's house with my husband splitting his time with me and being at home with our dogs. Everything was going fine until Sunday. On Sunday my husband left to go home to the dogs for the night and my brother-in-law went off to play basketball. I was sitting with my sister watching TV when I felt a pop. I was sure something was wrong. I went to the bathroom and I was gushing water. I came out and told my sister my water had broken. I got down on the ground and rolled onto my side which was all I could do. My sister ran for her phone and mine. She called 911 to get an ambulance there right away and called to tell my husband he needed to get to the hospital right away. During this time all I could think and say was that my babies are dying.
When we arrived at the hospital my husband was already there. I was taken straight to labor and delivery where they checked to make sure my water was broken. It was, so I was but back on monitors to see if I was having contractions. I was not having contractions and my cervix was sewn shut so I wasn't about to deliver. The doctor came to me with a whole new set of information. The amniotic sac was only broken on Baby A so Baby B was going to continue to be fine. I was now Preterm Premature Rupture of Membranes (PPROM). At 21 weeks PPROM is usually considered the end of the pregnancy. Most pregnancies are not able to continue and the risks of trying to continue are dangerous. The doctor told us if we were able to get to 23 weeks of pregnancy the babies could live but not before. If I did not go into labor and we chose to try to continue the pregnancy there was a risk that I would get an infection and become septic. This was one of the hardest parts for my husband about deciding to continue with the pregnancy. He has told me that he would stay awake at night a lot worrying that something would happen and he would lose me, the babies, or all three of us. Later my sister told me that at the time she thought I was making the wrong decision.
I was moved back up to an antepartum room where this time I would stay until the babies were delivered. I was on IV antibiotics and my temperature was to be taken every four hours to catch early signs of infection.Two days later after I had not gone into labor and it was looking good that the pregnancy would continue. It was time to speak with the Neonatologist. He came to speak with me about what kind of complications we could expect with the babies. I was told that babies born at 23 weeks are rarely normal and that if I delivered then we would likely be taking care of them for the rest of our lives. We were warned about potential brain bleeds that could lead to brain damage and chronic lung disease. The only way to reduce the chance of brain bleeds is to have a c-section. This was the point at which I knew that c-section was now my only option. The doctor also told us that because our son had no amniotic fluid, he could no longer move around and the longer he was inside the more likely he could be born with a club foot or club hands. At this point we needed to make it to 23 weeks or longer. However, the longer we go the better it would be for my daughter but the worse it would be for my son. That day was one of the hardest of my whole pregnancy because now I knew that not only was I risking my own life to save theirs but that I may have to make a choice to let my son die so that my daughter could live.
I continued in the hospital for two weeks with only my temperature being taken until I reached 23 weeks pregnant the point of viability. During this time I was completely depressed an unable to bond with the babies. I just stayed there in bed all day sleeping. I wasn't allowed to leave the room, get out of bed, or have many visitors because of the risk of infection. The only good parts of the two weeks was I never showed signs of labor and my husband and I celebrated another anniversary.
The day before I was to be 23 weeks pregnant I had my last appointment with the doctor. She told me it is normal for PPROM women not to bond with the babies they think might die. It was hard coping during this time knowing that I had done everything right and yet still there was nothing I could do to save them. It was out of my hands now. I had my last ultrasound to check how big the babies were in case I would be delivering soon.
Baby A
Baby B
That night at midnight I had my steroid shot to help develop their lungs.
A week later on my 23rd day in the hospital I was 24 weeks pregnant. I began monitoring for the well being of the babies. I would be having their heartbeats checked twice a day by fetal doppler and I would begin non-stress testing on my daughter only. Only my daughter would be monitored because they would not risk her health by delivering based on bad test results from my son. Life went on without me while I was there in the hospital. My mother had surgery again and I couldn't be there for her. I watched Summer change to Fall from my window. My grandfather died. Anniversaries and birthdays were celebrated without me.
Babies' Heartbeats
On day 33 of my hospital stay my daughter failed the non-stress test. I was moved to labor and delivery for additional monitoring. My husband came from work and we waited through an hour of additional testing. Everything was fine and I was moved back up to my room. I asked my husband not to go back to work because I had a feeling he needed to stay. I had been telling my mom the night before while we were celebrating my birthday that I felt like I was going to go into labor soon.
At 2:00 pm I started having contractions. I was moved back down to labor and delivery and this time I would be having the babies. I stayed in labor waiting for the doctor to get to the hospital from being with another patient.
Once she had arrived I was given an epidural and moved to a surgery room with a window directly into the Newborn Intensive Care Unit (NICU). I was 25 weeks and 5 days pregnant. At 7:12 pm my son was born.
He didn't cry and I wasn't able to see him as he was handed off to the NICU. At 7:14 pm my daughter was born.
I didn't get to see her either but she let out one small cry.
They lived and the beginning of our long and scary NICU stay began.
Alaric: Born 7:12 pm 1 pound 14 ounces 12 inches
Phyllis: Born 7:14 pm 1 pound 12 ounces 11.5 inches
After everything I went through and all the pain and heartache it was worth it. The fertility treatments and the pregnancy were the best and worst things to ever happen to me. I wouldn't take it back for the world. In fact I would do it again in a heartbeat. You can read more about them and our stay in the NICU. Thank you to everyone involved in our story and thank you to those of you that read my story I hope that this helps you in some way.
For those that are not going to read more of our story like I said they lived........
For those that are not going to read more of our story like I said they lived........
Phyllis and Alaric 1 year old
Alaric 1 year old
Phyllis 1 year old
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